No Touchie!

I don't know what it is about glass that automatically makes people want to touch it, but they sure do!  Our dip cabinet (where we keep the ice cream on display) has a sloped glass covering on it.  And for some reason, people, especially kids, feel the need to touch it all over.  These little kids practically make out with the glass, putting their slobering lips all over it.  I'm half tempted to put rubbing alcohol or nail polish remover on the glass and see what happens!  If I were a parent I wouldn't want my kid licking that glass, let alone touch it!

The real kicker is when people walk in, see you cleaning the glass, then proceed to stick their grimmy hands all over.  Sigh.  So the next time you go into a restaurant, don't put your hands on the glass and the employees will love you!

Acclimate, I think not

I'm a fast learner, and I can gain ground in a new work environment rather quickly.  Heck, for this job I received 4 days of training and then I was put in the manager position (without having any prior ice cream experience).  But there is one thing I can not grow accustom to: rude people.  I've never worked a job with so many rude people, not even when I did some part-time telemarketing!  These customers simply treat me and my staff like machines and think they are better than we are because they are on the other side of the counter.  It's quite ridiculous.

Here's what sparked this post:  a gentleman called in an order yesterday.  Since it was a rainy Monday, we were rather slow.  When the suit and tie came in to pick up his order he said, "You guys been slow today?"  "Yeah, a little."  "I bet the boss-man won't be happy about that."  To which I replied, "Well, I'm the boss so..." 
Here's where we need a little info: the owner of the store, let's call him Mr. Tom, lives 3 hours away.  And I'm the one who is here at the store 40+ hours, making sure things are running smoothly.  I make most of the operational decisions, not to mention I am in the process of trying to buy the business.  That being said, you can understand my feelings to his retort.

"Are you sure Mr. Tom, isn't the boss?"  As if he were trying to put me in my place.  I responded, "Well I'm the manager, I run the place.  He's the owner.   We all have someone to answer to.  Besides, Mr. Tom has told me on several occasions to tell people that I AM the owner (since I am in the process of becoming the owner)."  "He just tells you that so people don't call HIM."  He said with a smirk, again trying to put me in my place.  "You have a great day."  Jerk.

Let's not forget the one-word command people.  The ones who say, "Napkins" or after you've said, "Hi, how are you?"  they respond with "Vanilla."  I'm so tempted to repond with, "Oh, you would like to know where the napkins are located?" or "Oh, you were interested in ordering some vanilla today?"  Seriously people, we are human beings.  You are not texting, you are face-to-face with another person.  Please use complete sentences and use your manners.

And then there are the people who simply refuse to read or take any proactive role in gathering info.  Case in point:  yesterday, while I was working in the back, a rather large woman came in and sat down at one of our tables near the door.  I went out to the front and asked her if there was anything I could get her.  "I'm looking for that new cupcake place.  Someone told me it was next to you."  "Well, it's actually down the strip" as I pointed in the direction.  "Well they told me it's next to you."  Since it isn't, "It's just a few doors down to your left."  "How far is it?"  "You can walk from here, it's less than a block."  Huffing and puffing she said, "No, I can't walk down there."  Ok, you have a great day.  Why she didn't just drive until she found it in our strip is beyond me.  We are sandwiched between an Army recruiting office and a Catherine's store, so the cupcake place is obviously not next to us!

People just don't want to read or listen.  And they think because they are the customer, they can be rude and receive kind treatment in return.  It is very draining to be kind to rude people for 40+ hours a week.

Dietary "restrictions"

In conjunction with people not reading the menu, there are the people who have special dietary needs.  Now don't get me wrong, I sympathise with these people.  My sister is diabetic, so I'm not completely unassociated with people's needs.  But sometimes, it can get a little interesting.

Yesterday a woman came in and said, "Y'all got any sugar free ice cream?"  To which I responded, "We have a no-sugar-added flavor."  "Well where is it?"  "We keep it in the back."  "Well then I don't want it."  I'm not sure why the storage location of the ice cream would affect it's flavor.  I suggested she sample it, which she did and decided to get it.  She then asked me how much sugar was in our waffle cones.  I said I wasn't sure, I could try to estimate it based on the mix we use, but we could always put it in a cardboard cup.  She really wanted that waffle cone, so I did what I could, but couldn't find any info.  She got the cone anyway.

I love it when people order the NSA flavor, but then get 4 scoops of it, and mix it with Snickers and fudge and caramel.  Or some people try it, don't like it and get a large cheesecake flavored ice cream.  Ok?  Or when people order our low-fat vanilla and mix brownies, cookie dough, and Butterfinger into it.  Kinda defeats the purpose of the low fat, right?

I had one customer literally yell at me at the register because we didn't have sugar free ice cream.  I said we did have the NSA flavor to which he responded, "I said ICE CREAM!  That's not ice cream!"

I've also had a woman tell me our ice cream flavors were too sweet.  I'm sorry, this is an ice cream store;  most of the stuff we serve here will (and should) be sweet.

And then there's the allergy people.  Again, I know lots of people with nut allergies and it is a serious thing, but the way people communicate it is funny.

I had a woman say to me, "My daughter has a nut allergy, so you're going to need to get all the ingredients from the back."  Oh, thank you!  I'm so glad that you, the customer, knows our nut allergy preparation policy, because I, the employee, probably wouldn't know what to do without your guidance!  As if she is the only person with the allergy.  We deal with this all the time.

I had one woman wait until I was done making her entire order before she told me her daughter had a nut allergy.  So we had to throw her's away and start again.  And then there's the frantic parent who tells me 5 times that their kid has nut allergies.  And don't get me started on the people who are allergic to blue food dye number 2!

Menu Options

When I go to a restaurant, I usually look at the menu and order from that.  I do the same thing in places that have posted menus (as opposed to the ones you can hold).  Apparently that rule does not apply in ice cream shops. 

People walk right up to our ice cream cabinet (where are the flavors are displayed) and without glancing start ordering things we do not offer: Lemon ice cream, orange sherbert, black walnut, pistachio, pralines and cream...and the list continues.  I'm just dumbfounded that they order flavors we don't even HAVE!

And then there's confusion about other flavors like mint chocolate chip, cookie dough ice cream, or cookies and cream.  We don't have those flavors on display because we can mix them.  In other words, if you want mint chocolate chip, we can mix chocolate chips into mint ice cream.  If you want cookies and cream, we can mix oreos into sweet cream ice cream.  And so on.  For some reason this is terribly confusing for customers.   I had a boy say he wanted Snickers ice cream.  I said, "We don't have Snickers ice cream, but we can mix Snickers into any ice cream.  What flavor would you like?"  "I WANT SNICKERS ICE CREAM!"  "Ok, but do you want the Snickers in vanilla, chocolate...."  Don't worry, we got the Snickers drama resolved.  I've had people refuse to eat our ice cream because we didn't have cookies and cream.  I explained to the customer at least twice that we could mix oreos into any flavor and it would be just like cookies and cream.  I guess he didn't believe me because he just pouted and walked out.

And then we get people asking for scoops of what's on the menu.  If you've ever been to those ice cream stores where they mix stuff into the ice cream, they usually have suggestions on the board.  They mix ingredients into the ice cream; they don't have pans of it laying around!  At least they order from the menu board.

So the next time you go to a burger place, don't order sushi!

Now Hiring

In a business like ours, where the employees are paid minimum wage and get to work around ice cream all day, we get lots of applications.  Kids think this job will be easy and fun, but are shocked to find how involved and "difficult" it can be.  We are currently hiring for an assistant manager, which got me to thinking about all the funny applications or situations I come across, so for your reading pleasure:

• A kid came in to pick up an application, wearing a graphic T-shirt that said "JAIL"  and had an inmate number on it.  Really?  Don't you think I'm interviewing you right then and there?
• I had a sign posted saying we were hiring for an assistant manager.  A high schooler asked me how old you had to be to work here.  I told her 16, then she asked if one could be 16 and apply for the assistant manager position.
• During an interview, I ask "Describe a stressful situation and how you handled it"  I had one kid tell me that his girlfriend had cheated on him with his best friend.  "They didn't have sex or anything.  They just made out cuz they were drunk."  That's called drama, not a stressful situation.  Plus saying stuff like that doesn't really impress your future boss.
• I had a 32 year old woman use the phrase, "grew a pair of balls" and pimp during her interview.  Not a good sign.
• On an application it asks, "Why would you like to work here?"  Someone wrote, "Yes."  I can understand their mis-reading it thinking it said, "Would you like to work here?"  But that is obviously the case since you are filling out an application, so you might want to re-read that.
• On the application it asks, "Describe a situation where you provided or received excellent customer service"  and someone wrote "as an host I seen a lot of smile from do a good Job."
• I had an applicant write that he was accused of "burgary"
• I also had an applicant write that they were self-employed and the reason they "quit" was because "there wasn't enough work"  That same person tried to pull me aside and get an interview when we had a line of people and the health inspector there.  He asked if we hire someone specifically to dress up as our store mascot so he could be around little kids.  Um, no.

So as you can see, the hiring process can be both hilarious and exausting!

Sorry, We're Closed

Ever gone up to a business before they are open?  What did you do?  Pull on the door, knock on it, try to call the business?  Were you upset if you didn't end up getting inside before they open?

You would be amazed at how many people try to come get ice cream before 11am.  I can't imagine wanting ice cream before noon, but lots of people apparently do.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not rude when people try to come in before we're open.  There have been many instances when I've let people in before we're open.

But there have also been times when I was unable to help them.  There have been times when the ice cream had not been put out, the drawer in the register was not in, or I've been busy taking ice cream out of the machine so I couldn't get to the door.  I'm amazed that people get upset about it!  We're not open!  It's not as if I was refusing them service during our hours of operation.

There have been instances when people have come in accidentally before we are open.  It usually happened because I forgot to lock the door after unloading groceries.  One time, a large woman and her two large sons marched right in, half an hour prior to opening, no lights were on and they started barking out their orders.  Their oblivion astounded me; the lights being off didn't even phase them. 

I've also had a group of 4-5 women come in before we were open.  I let them in to be gracious, and they ended up using the bathroom and leaving.

And we're not rude when it comes to people coming in 2 minutes before we close, because we're still open!  We've even served people who have come in after we closed.  So be courteous when a business is closed; it is run by people just like you who either have work to do or want to go home. 

Does not play well with others

It never ceases to amaze me that adults fail to act like adults most of the time.  Simple things like waiting your turn, sharing, and manners go right out the window when it comes to their food.  It's really quite disappointing.  Here are a few examples of adults acting like pre-schoolers:

• One sunny afternoon a woman came in with the intention of buying one of our ice cream pizzas.  She selected the one she wanted, my employee handed it to her and rang her up.  During this process, I was sweeping the dining area due to the after school rush.  My employee handed her the receipt.  Have you ever been in the grocery and gotten coupons with your receipt?  That's what we have here.  The coupon just happened to be $3 off any ice cream pizza or ice cream cake.  The woman looked at my employee and said she wanted to get her $3 off.  Kinda hard to do since you didn't get the receipt/coupon until you purchased the item.  It's called a "bounce back coupon;"  it's intended to bring you back.  She started getting fussy with the employee, so I explained the coupon was for a future purchase to which she turned around and said, "WHAT?!"  Let's not fail to mention that she was picking her nose as she was talking to me.  Not just wiping her nose, or brushing it with her finger; we're talking finger inserted into nostril and digging around.  I was appalled.  I couldn't believe this woman had her finger up to her knuckle in her nose as she tried to argue that she deserved the discount that she received after her purchase.
• Another ice cream pizza story, involved a very rushed little woman.  She had called that morning as we opened and order 2-3 ice cream pizzas.  Then during the after school rush, she pulled her car up to the door (didn't park it in the lot) and bolted inside.  My employee and I were serving 3 customers at the time.  She looked at me as I was mixing someone's ice cream and informed me that she had called ahead for pizzas.  She also said I could get them whenever I got a second.   Oh, thanks for letting me know that.  I politely said, "When we're done serving these customers in line, we'll grab your pizzas."  There were only 3 people, and 2 of us, so it wasn't going to take long.  The woman waited ten seconds, and repeated her story to other employee, as if she were in charge, or as if she was going to stop serving the customer who was there before this pizza lady to meet her schedule.  After my employee finished serving customer #2 and I was on #3, she went to get the imperative pizzas.  We were ringing up the customers who were there before this pizza fiend, and as we were trying to ring them up, she was shoving money in our faces.  I'm sorry, but it's called waiting your turn.
• This story is fresh from yesterday:  A woman and her 3 kids came in and one child wanted strawberry ice cream with gummy bears mixed in it.  I put the appropriate amount of gummy bears in the ice cream, to which she responded, "You must be the owner's kid.  You're awfully stingy with those bears."  And then burst out laughing at her idiotic comment.  I didn't respond at that moment, but before she left I made sure to give her my business card, which says "Manager" on it.
• My first customers of the day were divas, and one of them was a man!  I over heard the man say to the woman, "Is this even frozen?"  as he looked at the ice cream.  The woman demanded that I give him a sample of a certain flavor (instead of asking) and when I handed it over the counter, she took it and put it in his mouth for him and got it all over him.  He didn't like it and asked me where our cookies and cream ice cream was.  I explained that we didn't have cookies and cream, but I could mix cookies into any ice cream he wanted (what an option!).  To which he responded with a pouty lip and said, "Well then I don't want any!"  Um, ok!
• And last but not least is the woman who was determined to be insulted and have a bad experience.  She came up to our ice cream and said, "It look melted."  I said with a smile, "Well, it's at 2 degrees in there right now, so it's not melted."  "Well I said it look melted!"  "It's not, would you like a sample of anything?"  (to prove that it's not melted). "It look melted" she muttered.  Yeah, I got that.  But since it's not,  let's get over it and decide what we want!  She was rude during the ordering process and her little boy was rude as well (surprise, surprise).  They sat down, and I went back to the line to serve the next customers, who had a complicated order (who knew ice cream could be complicated!).  When I had finished serving them, I went to the register and the customer and I began reviewing their order (so I could enter it correctly).  Enter the little boy.  He stands at the register and says, "I need a spoon!"  Not "Could I please have a spoon?"  Let me say that I had given him a spoon in the first place, but he dropped it.  And instead of picking it up and taking it to the trash, he left it on the floor and came to demand another.  I put my hand up for a second, because he was interrupting the conversation I was having with another customer and needs to wait his turn.  I said, "I'll get it in just a second."  To which his mother responds with a smouldering look in my direction.  Really?  Your kid can't wait his turn?  I wonder where he learned that...

So I feel like I work at a pre-school most of the time.  I think my job description should include "baby-sitting."

Yes, I am in charge

Beside the absurd FAQ's we get, and screaming complaining customers, I think my least favorite part of my job is the way customers assume I am young and dumb.  I don't know why those two tend to go hand-in-hand.  When I was younger, I was not dumb. 

I'm almost 30, but I look rather young.  In fact, I asked a few customers how old they thought I was, and their answers ranged from 16- 22!  I cannot believe someone thought I was 16 years old, wearing a wedding ring.  But for some reason, because I look so young, people assume I don't know how to do my job.  Although I happen to be the manager, with a name tag that indicates this, people still condescend to me as if I were illiterate.  A few examples:

• After a customer orders and before I have a chance to repeat their order to them, they say,"Did you hear what I said?"
• After I have put cookie dough in their ice cream and started mixing it, they say, "You forgot the cookie dough."
• When they ask to sample peanut butter ice cream, I put the taster spoon in it and they say, "I said peanut butter!"  "Right, this is peanut butter.  The one in front of it is espresso ice cream, not peanut butter."  "Oh."  Since I make all the ice cream, I think I can tell which flavor is which.
• On Saturday, I asked a woman in line if she needed anything else.  She asked me a question, and what I heard was "Do you have toffee?"  It was a little crowded, so there was a low din in the room.  I responded, "Yes, we have Heath bar."  She snapped at me and spoke with a sarcastic tone "Coff-ee!  Like you drink!!"  "Oh, no, we don't have coffee."  We are an ice cream place!  Why would we have coffee, and why do you need to snap at me and speak to me like I'm 2?
• Lots of people try to correct the way I ring them up.  They argue with me that I charged them too much, when I simply ring them up for the price that corresponds with the item they ordered from the menu

It's very draining to work with such condescending and demanding people.  I have to be patient and realize that ultimately it doesn't matter what that customer thinks of me.  I know I have 2 college degrees and that I'm a savvy business woman. I simply wish the customers would use common manners and not make such base assumptions.

FAQ

You would think an ice cream shop would be pretty straight-forward.  But we get lots of interesting questions.  Here's just a few:

·         Can I get something for free?

·         Do your arms get tired?

• Can you go out (leave the store) and buy me a cooler and some ice so I can make it on my 1 hr trip with your milkshakes?

·         Do you have any healthy ice cream?

·         Is there anything smaller than a small?

·         Where are your prices?

·         Do you have bathrooms?

·         Why are you so expensive?

·         Can you write on the cakes?

·         What are cakes made out of? (even though each cake has a label that answers that question)

·         Do mix-ins cost extra?

·         Where are you located?

·         What size cakes do you have?

·         Are the display cones the only size cones you have?

·         Is that Ice Cream (when looking at dip cabinet)?

·         Is your ice cream melted?

·         How do you stay skinny when you work here?

·         Are your chocolate sprinkles milk or dark chocolate?

·         Are you sprinkles hard or soft?  Can I taste them?

·         Is this all tiramisu (looking at dip cabinet)?

·         Do you put real cheese on your ice cream pizzas?

·         How long do you bake your ice cream pizzas?

·         Do you have to keep the ice cream cupcakes frozen?

·         Can you scrape the filling out of the oreo before you mix it into my ice cream?

·         Can I taste your cookie dough?  Can I bake your cookie dough?

·         Can I get bourbon in my butter pecan?

·         Can you put vodka in my shake?

·         Can you put Benadryl in my kid’s ice cream?

·         Can I pay with snakes?

·         Can you put fiber in my shake?

·         What do you do at this place?

·         Is that powdered sugar on the table (frozen table)?

·         What kind of sweetner  do you put in your ice cream?

·         Do you sell hot coffee?

·         Do you have ice?

·         Do you sell donuts?

·         Does mixing that ice cream give you a workout?

·         Is that table cold?

·         The Snickers you put in my ice cream are stale

Size matters

When you're at home, how do you determine the amount of ice cream you scoop out into your bowl?  If you're like most people, you probably count by scoops.  That's what we do here, our sizes are determined by how many scoops they contain.  So for example: a kid's cup is one 3 oz scoop, a small is 2  3oz scoops (6 oz total) and so on up to the large, which contains 4 scoops.

For some reason, this is very confusing to customers.  I can't count how many "size" conversations I have with customers daily.  They say they want 2 scoops, so I point to the small cup and say, "So you want this size?"  "No I want the large."  That's 4 scoops.  Their scoops at home must be pretty big!  Imagine when I have someone say they want 1 scoop and then point to the large cup! 

And then there are cones!  Boy those things are uber confusing!  We make cones in various sizes, correlating with our cup sizes; so we have a kids cone to hold 1 scoop, a small cone to hold 2 scoops, etc.  But try to explain that to a customer and their mind about melts.  Our franchise policy is to speak with the customers in cup sizes, not number of scoops.  So when they want their ice cream in a cone, we used to ask, "What size would you like?"  Then a conversation like this would ensue: "I want a cone."  "Yes, but what size would you like?"  "I want it in a cone!"  "Right, we can put the same amount of ice cream that goes in the cup into a cone.  So I can put a small, regular, or large into a cone for you."  "But I don't want a cup, I want a cone!"  "I can put the amount of ice cream that goes in the cup into a cone, all you have to do it tell me what size you would like and I will put it in a cone."  "BUT I WANT A CONE!!"  That is almost verbatim the conversations we've had with customers.  So now we just ask how many scoops they would like.  Apparently it's rocket science.

Once we have mixed their choice of mix-ins, we ask "Cup or Cone?"  if the customer has not already indicated which they prefer.  My favorite response is for the customer to tell me what size cup they want.  So for example, if they order a small, they say, "I want it in a small cup."  Like my question was dumb or as if I wasn't listening when they ordered.  I can put any ice cream size in a cup or cone, and the amount of ice cream correlates with the cup or cone I use, so once they tell me the size they want, they don't have to tell me what size container to put it in.  Oh the joys of ice cream and the general public.

Bathroom Battles

I don't know about you, but when I visit a friend, I don't use their bathroom and trash it.  Mainly for 2 reasons: 1.  It's rude  2. They would have to clean up after me.

You wouldn't believe how people treat bathrooms just because they think of it as a "public" bathroom.  Don't worry, it's not bathroom humor, just crazy stories from our bathrooms:

One time an employee found that someone had taken a permanent marker and written a vulgar message on our mirror. Permanent.  Marker.  Who does that?  Who carries a permanent marker around with them to destroy other people's property?

Another time we checked the bathroom during the shift change to find someone had stuffed toilet paper in the sink and left the water running in hopes  of flooding our bathroom.  They also put paper towel in the toilet and dumped gummi bears as well. Sigh.

Another time, one of my employees stepped in human feces.  Not on the toilet seat, not near the toilet seat, but at the door.  So close, yet so disgustingly far away.

And for some reason, people have a hard time puting their trash in the trash can.  The swinging door to the trash can is a little difficult, but with a little effort, one can dispense of their refuse.  I don't think anyone realizes how much we put up with in a small ice cream shop with massive bathroom issues.

The egregious taster spoon

Like many ice cream stores, we offer samples of our flavors using little taster spoons.  And like many ice cream stores, we have a receptacle near our ice cream for the disposal of used taster spoons.  You would think this would be a simple system.  Oh, but it is mischievous and dastardly system meant to confuse and deceive the customer!  Story time:

A group of 2 mothers and two daughters came in one day.  One of the teen girls asked if we had smoothies.  I turned around and pointed to a section of our menu dedicated entirely to smoothies and told her that I could in fact make a smoothie.  She ordered one.  When I turned around to hand it to her, I noticed that all other people in their party had a taster spoon in their hands.  I know I did not give them those spoons, so my only conclusion was that they took them from the trash receptacle for used spoons that clearly says,"TRASH SPOONS" on it.  I said, "Where did you get those taster spoons?!"  "From right there," said one of the mothers as she nodded in the direction of the spoons that went in other people's mouths.  She said it as she was dipping "her" taster spoon into her daughter's smoothie.  "Those are trash spoons.  They have been used" I said, in hopes of stopping them from contaminating the freshly made smoothie.  The mother looked at me incredulously and said, "Well we thought they were for sampling!"  "It does say TRASH SPOONS on it,"  I pointed out.  Why they were mad at me makes me incredulous!  This group obviously had a hard time reading or using their powers of observation.

And they aren't alone!  I've had other people dig a dirty spoon out of our bucket and hand it to me for a sample of one of our freshly made flavors.  Why would we put spoons on their side, where they can't get to the ice cream?  Wouldn't it make more sense to skip that step of passing the spoon to us and just have the spoons on the side with the ice cream?  Oh, wait, that's what we do!

I also had a man try to get me to re-use his taster spoon!  I gave him a sample of a flavor he inquired about.  He then asked to sample a different one, and as I was dipping the new taster spoon in the second flavor, he handed me his used one and said in all sincerity, "Here, you can use this one so you don't have to get another one dirty."  I just stared at him blankly.  Was he serious?  Did he really me to use the taster spoon that had just been INSIDE his mouth in a fresh batch of our ice cream?  You gotta be kidding me!

One would think a little white plastic spoon would be innocent and not cause any issues, but that spoon is quite crafty!

Lost and Found

As promised: the story of the woman who accused my employees of being thieves.

In the summer, I was sitting at my small desk working on the schedule when I started hearing someone talking very loudly to an employee.  The employee came to the back with a puzzled look on their face and said that a woman wanted to talk with me.  Sigh, the words every manager dreads.

I go out to see a woman in hysteria, with two young girls bouncing off the walls.  Great start.  She starts yelling at me, asking me where her daughters leather pouch was.  That's when the flashback happened:

About a week earlier, I found a small (7x7inch) faux leather pouch on my desk.  There was a post-it note with a person's name and phone number.  I called the number and heard, "We're sorry, but this caller has not set up their voice mail.  Good bye."  So I checked the contents of the pouch and found a nail file and lip gloss.  Later that day I tried the number again, only to receive the same message.  So I threw it away.  Anyone who works with the public knows that things get left behind or lost frequently.  Unfortunately, I don't have the space to keep all the things that get left behind.  I could have kept that little pouch for a while longer, but in the haste of the moment I threw it away.  Not the best decision, I admit.  I had no idea the consequences that simple action would have.  But in my defense, the employee who wrote the note could have been more detailed, saying that this woman was coming back in the next few days to pick it up.

Flash forward to the screaming customer.  I explained to her that we no longer had the pouch, but I could offer her the monetary value for the pouch or free ice cream.  That's when this woman went ballistic.  She said she wanted her pouch to be presented right now!  How could it be here one moment and now it's not?!  Where is it?  What happened to it?  I told her I was sorry we didn't have it (I was not about to tell her I threw it away.  That would kick things up to a level I was not ready to handle) but I would offer her compensation for it.  She said my employees must have stolen it!  Why high school and college age kids would want that little pouch is beyond me.  I said to her, "Ma'am, my employees are not thieves, and I don't appreciate you accusing them."  Then her children started chiming in, "Are you going to arrest someone?!"

The woman then demanded that I interrogate all my employees to discover the location of the pouch.  Seriously.  I told her that I would ask the employees about the situation, but I wouldn't be able to give her an immediate answer.  She scoffed and said, "Well I want an answer now!  I want the pouch now!"     "Ma'am, I cannot produce the pouch because it is not here.  It is possible that it was moved or thrown away (interject scowls and screams from the children) but in order for me to ask all 14 employees, it will take some time.  Even if I called them all today, I might get voicemail and there is a chance that not all of them will call me back today.  So the best I can do, is to tell you that I will let you know in 2 days."  She then wanted the phone number of my boss.  I gave her his e-mail and she left in a huff, dragging her two screaming children behind her.

She then e-mailed the owner, telling him an exorbitant sob story about her "special needs" daughter who plays softball and loves to come to our store after games.  He explained to her the same things I told her: we have a limited space and many people leave many things behind, it would take time to contact all employees, and we could offer her compensation or ice cream.  For some reason, hearing it from a man via e-mail made it more true than hearing it from me in person.

Ultimately, she did not get her "treasured pouch" back.  She received a years worth of free ice cream, a company t-shirt, and monetary compensation.

I do not have children, so I don't know what's it's like to deal with a child mourning the loss of one of their favorite toys.  But I hope I never create a display to equate this woman's.  It was a pouch worth less $5, and I didn't see the need to react so hysterically.  Now we have a cardboard box that says "Lost and Found."